Season 1999-00

Braunstone arrive at Knighton Park determined not to be spanked yet again by the reds, and they try everything to get Tom Lane distracted - during the game they offer him sweets, beer, pornography and even a puppy in a bid to put him off his game, having single handedly destroyed them all season. What they don't realise though is Tom is clever enough to let his team mates score instead. The game is held up for twenty five minutes in the second half as a Braunstone player breaks his leg on the pitch. Being a hardened Braunie, the player marvels at the way his leg goes in all different directions, and smokes a few fags whilst waiting for the ambulance to turn up. As we all know, put in a 999 on a Sunday and say it's for a footballer and the ambulance drivers will deliberately go round the block a few times, hoping injured players will 'run it off'.